I am pathetic. A pathetic person.

Why? Because I pour out my heart for someone and never once left. I never once gave up on him, I never once try to end things. I try my hardest to work things out. I try my hardest to make him happy. I try my hardest to be the best for him.

Yet, it never seems to be good enough. I am pathetic because I allow him to make me so upset to the point where my heart hurts. To the point, every few minutes the first thought that pops into my head is death. To the point where I want to hurt myself. To the point where I don't even know what to do anymore.

I am pathetic because I poured my heart and soul out, into this relationship, hoping that we would last forever because you are the one I want to be with. We talked about being together and starting a family. We talked about travelling and saving money for the future. We talked about loving each other no matter what, and not giving up, not leaving. But you want to end it again.

In hindsight, it is probably my fault for pushing it. It is my fault for telling u how I feel, making you feel more stressed out. Making you explode. Leading up to this. Leading up to our downfall. I never meant to hurt you but it seems as though you don't realise you are hurting me even more.

I am pathetic because I allowed myself to have such negative thoughts, to just be fucked up, to close myself up. I am pathetic because I am crying over a boy. I am pathetic because I begged you to stay. But I did all these because I love you. And I still do.