This incident happened on the first day of new year.

So, I had just ended a relationship about a month ago and i have told my parents about it. My father had no comments because he is quiet like that. My mother just asked me why and i just gave her a simple reason.

Fast forward to new year. By this time, my mother is already very aware of me being single. Yet she still does not hesitate to try and make it a joke. For once i thought she would take me seriously. But when she asked me about my "boyfriend", she pretends to realize that i am single and then she starts laughing saying "Oh you two broke up already." in public. My own mother thinks that my breakup is funny and is laughing loudly in public. I didn't take it to heart at first, pretending that it was nothing. What she doesn't know is how much pain i went through when it happened. She didn't know everything and she thinks she knows best.

At my grandmother's house, my second sister brought her french boyfriend to visit. This was not the first time they visited. I think the first time was Christmas. Of all days, she had to mention to all my relatives about me having a boyfriend, when she CLEARLY KNOWS that i DO NOT have one. It lead to them asking why i didn't bring him along to visit and why i didn't show them photos.

I emphasized that i do not have a boyfriend and that i only have friends. My grandmother kept asking me why i didn't bring him over to visit like my second sister. I laugh it off and said that i only have male friends, not boyfriend. My aunt asked my mother "Have you met this boy?" And guess fucking what? She replied that she went to Jurong just to see the boy.

At this moment i'm just like "EXCUSE YOU. You were the one who wanted to go Jurong and then he was happen to be working there and you wanted to meet him. At that point in time, he wasn't even my boyfriend. And he isn't my boyfriend now. Stop lying to my relatives god damn it." But obviously, i have to shut the fuck up and not say anything because all she will do is give me shit.

The rest of the night consist of me hiding and being questioned where my boyfriend is although i have mentioned so many fucking times that i do not have a boyfriend. It was the most frustrating thing ever. My mother always stir shit up in my life. Her attitude is getting worse and her thinking is just "I think this is the best for me therefore i will do it for myself. I do not care that it will affect other people." Being the youngest in the family, i always get blamed for doing things that weren't even done by me. When i say "Can you make sure you get the right person before you scold them?" I always get ignored. It's like i don't matter.

Of course, why would i matter? Since young, i have always been told that i was supposed to be aborted. Every single day i would wonder what would happen if i wasn't even here. How much pain i do not need to endure. How my mother always say that if i was aborted the family would be rich. How all they wanted was a boy and i, a female, came out instead. All these hurt a lot but she will never know. She always think that she treats me very well and i shouldn't complain about anything. Yet, she doesn't understand the pain i gone through. The words that she said that hurt me and the things i went through like a breakup. She never tries to understand and even communicate with me. Every talk ends up being me being in the wrong.

January doesn't seem like a good month for me i suppose. Haha, oh well. What to do right?