It is 2 a.m. in the morning, and i just finished watching white chicks. I am exhausted but i cannot sleep at all. This is not the first time i guess, these few nights are crap.

During my exam period, i always think "i HAVE to take a break or i will just break down anytime after that." Well i did not relax enough i guess. I am emotionally unstable so just watching any movie might make me cry which really sucks. I actually cried at the cinema when i was watching a cartoon with my mother. I CRIED WATCHING A CARTOON! How the hell do i do such things? I have no idea. When i reached home and watched the Locked Away music video, that's when the tears flow out continuously. I have no idea why i cry, i am assuming that the content made me sad OR i can relate to the content and i feel hurt or something.

Sometimes i can feel my heart like pounding so hard, it is going to explode. Sometimes i can feel it breaking apart and i can really feel it being ripped and the pain. Sometimes i cannot even feel anything.

I know i am messed up.

I want to say fuck it.

But it is killing me.

Guess i can't just fuck it.