Gummy Worms

My exams are finally over! That feeling when you finish your paper and hand it in and leave earlier is so great. I'm just going to blog about a few things that happen these few days. But first, song of the week: Post to be. Check it out at the side. :)

Well what can i say? My ex sort of got into my mind again. I was kind of proud that i actually didn't think of him for a few months already, like completely didn't think of such a person that exist. Yet, the thought still slams back into my mind. Recently, i think it was last Friday, i went back for volleyball training with my friend Geneve. She has been a really awesome friend for listening to my bullshit and we kind of support each other in a way i guess. My other seniors came back, seniors as in when we were sec 4, they were sec 5. Almost the whole team was there and we got to play matches with the current 'B' division girls. They were good of course, after all, my coach was one of the most awesome person in the whole wide world. It was quite shitty because we lack of some position and i had to play another position if not our team will have a higher chance of losing. I received a few balls and slide onto the rough ground a few times, did a few rolls and flips. No doubt, my leg was hurting from the lack of protection and by flipping once after straining my back caused my back to hurt. It was quite a pissed off day for me because one of the balls i slid to take was not counted because some other ball was in the court but its not anyone's fault i guess.

I was lying down on the ground by the end of training because my body was hurting and here comes my ex. He was watching the girl's training and knew what happen i think. Or at least saw what happen. He came over and i can sense him wanting to ask me whether i was okay. However, due to the last conversation we had that ended in "Thanks for the entertainment." I was quite pissed off at him and didn't really want to talk to him. Geneve knew though and kept asking me to ignore him. Turns out in the end he just mumbled a hi and left. After that i went to eat with my juniors i have not seen for a long time. On the way there, guess what? My ex was walking in front of me with his sister and one of my seniors. They weren't that close from what i know but the way they were talking and stuff really made me quite upset i guess. It was really shitty. My friend says i'm jealous which i think i am and i am not going to deny it because i was unsure of anything. With that on my mind and my exams still on going, my heart was heavy and i was in such a bad mood the past few days. And also something my friend did but i am not going to say what. The overloading of stress really got to me. I was so emotionally tired it was affecting me from doing anything.

Yesterday i was studying at Ang Mo Kio library in the morning before i go for training and i was not studying at all i swear. It was like i'm just staring at the book and copying stuff that's all. It was horrible because my last paper was today and i have not studied much for the subject. I didn't have the mood at all. I just want to lie down, curl up and just stay there. Around 2 i left to get some food. I got a lot of food. It made me feel a bit better but not 100% better. I went for volleyball again, with Geneve and some of my seniors. The start of training was shitty because i really had no mood to do anything. My spikes were off and i know what is wrong but i just don't have the mood to change what i did. It was till the end when we played matches and i felt so much better. My spikes were back and my service was there and everything was just great. The first set was really a joke. My team started off with a lot of mistakes and it was like 4-15, 4 being us. But we managed to catch up and the match ended with a score of 23-25, 23 being us. We didn't win the first set but it was warming us up in a certain way because the more we played the better we performed. My mood turned around and when i was home, i was able to study a bit before i slept.

Well, the test wasn't that hard considering the fact that i can answer majority of the questions. But yeah this was it. I came home after exams and not hang out with my friend because i think i need some time to myself and just don't screw myself up.

Anyways my juniors got me birthday balloons. :)


And here are some pictures for you guys





Enjoy your day beautiful people. :)

Song of the day: Papaoutai (Pentatonix version) This is a french song i am determined to learn the lyrics and pronunciation of the words. Anyways, if you have no idea who Pentatonix is, go check them out because they are awesome.

Hey guys, so today is my second paper, i have four papers namely Principles of Management, Food and Beverage, Macroeconomics and Introduction to Hospitality and Tourism. Well, i screwed up the first paper, Principles of Management and also today's paper, Food and Beverage. I have no idea how but i think i screwed it up badly. But what is done is done.

I just felt like blogging today halfway through studying for my next exam on Friday, Macroeconomics. I have no idea what to talk about so i am probably going to talk about random stuff for no certain reasons.

First thing i realise there are so little people blogging now and most of them are using like wordpress or some other apps. I tried using wordpress but i didn't like it as much. I think blogging is kind of fun, considering the fact that i love to write/type about stuff in my life for fun and sometimes just to release my emotions (?) when i am overly stressed or sad or pissed off or happy. Mostly sad but whatever. Writing sort of brings me joy in life in a way because i usually talk about my feelings or my day and i really enjoy typing out my day and then reading it in the future, thinking back of those good times i had in the past. THE PAST IS NOT ALWAYS BAD. I think i am weird in a sense that i can be happy for a second and then go all moody the next. Like today on the bus, i was reading my notes and then the next second i was thinking about my ex which is stupid because it is not a happy thing and it is not something you should think about when you have a paper later because you will think about it during the paper again and it is useless. I was really really in the annoying mood yesterday. I feel that i am clingy and i don't like sounding clingy but sometimes what i feel makes me sound super clingy which is gross and i hate that. But whatever.

I saw this book quite sometime ago called Diary of an Oxygen Thief. It is a Dutch novel. An autobiography of a guy who enjoys abusing woman emotionally.  I think this picture is quite familiar to a lot of people.



Well i am kind of curious to read on because i like to know what people are thinking. Some people may think i am sick in the mind but i like to think i am curious about how a guy like that thinks. I'm tired of reading books about how people feel after a breakup or like normally how the victim feels and not the person who did something to them. This captures my attention in a way because i want to know how people feel when they emotionally hurt others. Like is it intentional? Do they like it a lot? Or do they not like it and just want to torture themselves? I really really want to read this book and i searched a lot about it, whether i can read it online or borrow the book from the library. I can't find it so if anyone reading this knows where i can get the book please please tell me THANK YOU.

And i guess thats all? I have no idea what else to talk about and i am pretty sure after this blog post i will have something to talk about. Next time i would probably blog after my exams which is like next Tuesday around there. So here are some funny pictures:







Oh how i love tumblr.

Thanks for reading beautiful people and enjoy your day! :)

Song of the day: Better in Time by Leona Lewis because my friend made me get addicted to it.

For the past few days it has been really shitty for me and today is probably the day i laughed the most in 2015 hence the name of the blog post being "The rainbow that came after the rain." Yesterday i had my last presentation and well, i screwed up the back part of my point and ended up constantly looking at the script in the end. Oh well, what is done is done right?

Today morning was my last IHT tutorial (IHT stands for introduction to hospitality and tourism) and my tutor is my care person. He is a really nice guy and gave us chocolates during today's lesson because it was the last lesson. Guess what? He bought ROYCE Chocolates which are pretty expensive and it tasted delicious. The best part was that we received out report back and my group got an A! Like finally, out of all the projects, we finally got an A! It lifted my spirits up and my group took a last photo together as a team since our presentations and group projects are all completed.

SONG OF THE DAY: Poison by Rita Ora (I don't think i have chosen this song yet so have a listen. Trust me it is nice.)

Today i am going to blog about these few days. It has just been the most upsetting and angry days of my life. I feel so tired and so restless. Yesterday was not so bad. After i went to school for test, i went to SP to find my secondary friends and watched my bro play soccer. His team didn't win though. From what i see, his team was pretty strong. When i reach home, my mother told me that she couldn't go out on the family outing we always have on a Sunday. Ever since last month, we have not been going out at all. I miss our family outings, trips to the park or beaches just to relax. It just seems as though she doesn't care about the family anymore. Constantly working for extra money. I know my family needs money but must she work overtime almost everyday? Plus, everytime my sister and father gave her money, she would say that it is not enough. I mean, you work so much and earn extra and still receive money from my father and sister. How is it even possible that you do not have money?

I guess i am just disappointed about it. I told one of my friends yesterday and what made it worse was he actually wanted to ask me to go out on Sunday night to watch fireworks at the Floating Platform but the tickets were sold out. It was sad because i still cannot go out and without the ticket he cannot go out either. I guess i will just be spending the Sunday at home feeling shitty as usual.

The day before yesterday was quite ridiculous as my teacher was being all weird and i think she is not even listening to us. She somehow cannot understand my group but when the other groups say the same thing she understood which is ridiculous because we are talking about the same thing. Come to think about it, i guess she is tired since she has to suffer the whole day in school.

Tuesday night was my CCA day and let me just say it was horrible. Not the CCA but the people playing in my team. Some of them don't even know how to play when we already attended training for more than 2 months? I mean come on, how can you not know how to play? It is ridiculous.

The stories for each day are suppose to be longer but i don't have the mood to go into detail. The main thing is i guess i really need a break.

Here is a picture for all you lovely people out there:

Song of the day: The heart wants what it wants by Selena Gomez. I have no idea why but i am enjoying it so yeah......

Anyways, i felt like blogging but i have no idea what to blog about so i am going to blog about some random stuff. Haven't quite figure it out yet so......

Oh i know, i am going to talk about something really really shitty. Well at least i feel shitty after the whole thing. I know i have talked about my birthday quite a lot of times but just bear with me for a moment alright?

The day of my birthday my ex wished me happy birthday. I was kind of happy because he remembered that is all.He wished me and the whole day we were whatsapping each other while i was out with my "brother" and it wasn't a very happy thing for me because i was trying to enjoy myself but i kept thinking about him. I have no idea about you guys but for me i was affected easily so i kept thinking the whole day. That night before 12am, i was talking to my best guy friend and him too. Do you know what is the shittiest thing? At the last 30 mins before my birthday ended, he actually asked me if we could talk about the past. Okay the next move i made was the stupidest choice i ever did but i was curious. I didn't say yes, i didn't say no. The conversation started with me talking about how i spent my day with my brother and then he was like saying "wa go out with other guys ah?" with the emoji you guys should know which one i am talking about. Then i said no and then he say waiting for me uh? I said keep dreaming and that is where it begins.

He mentioned about how if we did not break, we would be together for quite long already. Then he proceed to ask whether we could talk about the past. I asked him what about the past. The first thing he asked me was what i look back about the past. I started talking about how sweet he was to me. The times we find a longer way to walk before we went home separately and other things. He mentioned about a few things. I mentioned more. He did not remember some and he was shocked that i remembered so much. That kind of hurt, knowing that he did not remember as much as i did and he was the one who wanted to talk about the past.

The conversation went on by saying how we broke up and how much he regretted everything which means i, who is easily affected, start to think. I mean, if you regret something, why did you even do it in the first place? And the stupidest thing a guy could do is to talk to your ex and calling her ex gf instead of her actual name. I mean HELLO? I have a freaking name for god's sake, is it so hard to call me by my name?

So imagine, i am already freaking thinking and kind of sad (Really sad to be honest) and i could not really sleep. The next day was the best man guys. What could be even worse than talking about your past on your birthday with your ex who doesn't remember much? Oh that's right, he talked to me in the morning. That wasn't very bad but he ended the conversation by saying "Thank you for the entertainment" I mean what the hell? To me, it makes him sound like a dick to be honest. Maybe to him it does not mean anything but wow girls are sensitive. Can't you think before you speak?

Throughout the whole time we talked, he chatted with a flirtatious tone and constantly teasing me like the past. Basically he just triggered all the memories from the past and just ruined me once more. Maybe to you guys its nothing but to me, he hurt me. I am a very chill type of girl. If you have good girl friends and you guys talk, i don't care because i trust you. He didn't trust me and the worst thing is he flirted with this girl and talked in a more flirtatious tone when we were dating. It was not the first time and it really really sucked because he knew very well i close one eye during the other times he flirted with other girls. It really sucked a lot.

So that is it. Pretty boring. Till now i still feel a bit sad thinking about it. I will just end off with two things. First, guys, think before you speak because girls are sensitive. Second, girls, trust your guys no matter what but if he screws up kick him in the balls and end it with him.

ENOUGH SADNESS.



This is kind of cute.

Have a great day beautiful people. :)