Gummy Worms: March 2016

Anger Part 2?

Song of the day: Dangerous Woman by Ariana Grande. I listened to it a few times and found it quite nice so why not listen to it?

In my previous post, i did write a stupid post about anger (Reading how i wrote it made me feel stupid) and today will probably just be another update on it. (Get ready for more stupid-ness).

If you know me for a long time (At least a few years), you would know how i would react when i am angry. Either i would keep quiet with a resting bitch face or i would full on shout at the person who pissed me off. Now, how does this anger come about?

Usually, my sudden outburst/ dramatic reaction is from accumulated incidents. For example in a month, arguments with my friends, no support from people i love, people not doing things right, etc. All these do not happen on a daily basis but if somehow i am that unlucky and it does, i would be in a bad mood and become super bitchy probably twice a month.

Arguments with my friends are on different things. If you are someone who knows me well, you would know that i have a lot of insecurities. From time to time, i need people to assure me that they would stay with me and not leave (due to past friendships where i give and people take and leave). It is hard for me to trust someone and it is hard for someone to deal with me. Sometimes, because of my insecurities, my friends and i would argue (Usually only one person would argue with me because i only trust that one person. I would only show my insecurities to that one person.) Sometimes people decide not to deal with you anymore, so arguments surely occur from time to time.

Another common argument is the usual unhappiness within a friendship. Constant questionings or cancelling meetings at the last minute. IF someone does these often, it is impossible for someone to be pissed off/annoyed.

No support from the people i love.

Since primary school, i love to draw. However, my parents don't really support me drawing. Apparently to a lot of parents, "drawing" = "no success". Therefore i am studying in business when i could be doing something i love like design. In secondary school, i joined a sport called volleyball. I am absolutely obsessed with the sport. I would go for every training because i enjoy playing it. I do not have those "close relationship" with my coach. For others, my coach can click with them quite well. For me, my coach would train me a lot, and since i like to do my best in this sport, he would have a higher expectation of me and train me in different ways. Now, even when i graduated, i would go back to help him train my juniors or just go there and enjoy myself. Last time, he would trust me with my juniors and ask me to bring them to friendly matches and coach them. Of course, at that time it was a huge thing for me. However, my parents once again do not support me playing this sport. Here is the reason why:

I can never ever do well in my studies. I am not a person who can study and score A* for all my subjects. I am the type of person who can do very well in what i love which are usually classified as the useless stuff by my parents (Drawing & Sports).

I love sports, i am not going to lie. I love PE a lot last time. When my friends are all not willing to play during PE because they would sweat or they would be very tired, i would be playing with the guys along with some of the girls who are into sports like i am.

People who do not do things right. Need i explain?

Normally this type of people are people in school. When we are suppose to do somethings and they can't do it right despite the clear instructions given. Moreover, when they ask you for help and you help, they will start relying on you. They would find reasons to make you do stuff for them, and then of course take credit for the work. Annoying isn't it?

Imagine just experiencing on a daily basis, who would not be angry?

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A little something i love to do

Song of the day: The sound by 1975

Today i picked up my pencil and started drawing again. Drawing is something i enjoy a lot. It used to be my hobby but school and stuff. I didn't get the chance to draw that much anymore.

When i drew today, i always wondered why i did not take a design course since i enjoyed drawing. I kind of regret not visiting design courses and do what i really love. I mean the course i am in now is fun and all. There are a lot of things that are useful for me when i start working but wouldn't it be nice to just do something you like?

I remembered joining art classes last time. When i was in Primary school if i am not wrong. I really loved it and it was something i love going to. Also, in Primary school, when there are any art events or projects teachers need students to help out, i will be there. I remember staying back secretly to join this batik painting record thing my school participated in. It kind of helped that when my mother was constantly working. I also remembered joining Chinese calligraphy class, batik painting and Chinese painting class.

In secondary school, i joined this character drawing class near my house. Basically it is something like a anime drawing class i guess. You know, those characters from comic books.

So these are some of the drawings i did after getting a notebook from a museum.

This was drawn during one of my lessons when we were waiting for the teacher to finish something. I remembered sitting beside this girl in my class that was known as Koala. I asked her what i should draw because i felt like it and she said a Koala. Therefore a Koala.

This was drawn when i reached school early and i remembered having this laptop sticker. I was waiting for the other members of my clique and decided to draw again. So, a wolverine.

This was drawn when we were waiting for a teacher outside the staff room. We were kind of bored and one of my friends asked me to draw Nemo. This took a very long time for me to draw because i can't draw that well so i took like a lot of days drawing this.

I don't remember when i drew this but i remembered that i was obsessed with face painting and Halloween and stuff. I tried the technique on a paper instead because i was lazy to find face paint and it was kind of hard to face paint if you can't even draw on the paper.

After being obsessed with drawing for a short period of time, i drew this in class, when my teacher left early after class. This is a tattoo on someone's shoulder i saw online. It is pretty cool but tiring to draw.