Gummy Worms

Song of the day: I was made for loving you by Tori Kelly.

Here is an update. Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

There are many things people are afraid of and for me, i am afraid of lightning and thunder.

I am not a fan of loud sudden noises. Therefore, i hate balloons. When i was young, i had a balloon that burst all of the sudden and it freaked me out.

Anyway, my sister told me today that since young i was scared of lightning and thunder. Apparently i was doing homework in my parent's room and it was dark. I was sitting near the window and there was a sudden flash of light and thunder. I got so freaked out i cried. At at point, the only people at home were my sister and my grandma and my sister said she came to see what's wrong and found me crying. So she hugged me while i cried and laughed at me. (What a good sister......)

I remember another time i was doing work in my sister's room at my table which is close to the window. Unlike my parent's room, my sister's room has 4 windows. It was dark, really dark. Imagine the scary ass lightning and thunder, the type that scares the shit out of people. Yes, that happened. I got freaked out and hid under a blanket till it stopped.

Honestly, i am fine with lightning and thunder, like i won't freak out unless it is the type that scares the shit out of people.

So, today, while i was in my room, it was dark as usual, it rained. Lightning and thunder were making me jump from time to time. Then suddenly there was a scary ass lightning and thunder that made me so freaked out. It sounded like it hit something and there was an orange glow that followed. Of course i was freaking the fuck out and i went to the living room where my sister was at.

Lightnings look nice in pictures but in real life i really really cannot take it.

I don't really know the purpose of writing this blog post but it has been quite awhile since i posted something. So like every other blog post, this is going to be a messy one.

Song of the day is Formidable by Stromae.

Song of the day: Never forget you by Zara Larsson and MNEK

I used to be so happy
But without you here I feel so low
I watched you as you left but I can never seem to let you go
'Cause once upon a time you were my everything
It's clear to see that time hasn't changed a thing
It's buried deep inside me but I feel there's something you should know

It has been around 1 month plus since i posted something? Well school has been a bitch. There is rarely time to do what i want so yeah.

Ending of May till starting of June so far has been a pretty bad period of time for me. I haven't been feeling great at all. It is probably the month i would explode again.

I just cannot believe that in about 1 month i am turning 18 yet i can't even get my shit together. I don't know what i want and i don't know a lot of things. I don't know how to handle myself emotionally. I'm turning 18 yet i am still making stupid decisions. Ha, i'm really an idiot.

I exploded yesterday and i just couldn't believe i did that. After all these years, i never dare to say anything. Even if i explode, i would not even mention every single thing. I would probably say things like "I feel like giving up." but this time no, i elaborate quite a bit. It scares me though. I cannot believe that i actually told someone about my thoughts and just show my insecure side out. I freaked out after realizing what i have done and well, i don't know what would happen because so far there is no reply so yeah. Am i mentally prepared for this person to leave my life? Fuck no.

It is so scary when you expose your insecure side to someone else. As much as you trust the person, there is still that fear there. Maybe it is just me but i hate the feeling of vulnerability. When telling people almost everything about myself, i feel vulnerable. I have trust issues. There is always that thought that someone might use whatever information i told them against me. I would feel more vulnerable and weak which i hate a lot.

I never considered myself as a strong person but i try to keep my walls up as much as i can to not seem weak. It is not that i don't want others to know i am weak but i just don't want to give people the chance to attack my weak spot. I would crumble and probably die. Sometimes i want to show people that i am weak inside to make them understand how i feel when certain things happen. Of course that wouldn't happen.

If you were to tell me to tell you everything, this blog post would probably be longer than it is now and still i would have things that i am unwilling to share.

Hopefully i can get my shit together before i am 18.

Stupid decision example: Now, i have an exam at 1pm and i am blogging. GENIUS.

But still, i hope you have a nice day whoever you are. Don't let fear take over you. (Does that even make sense?)

My best friend ordered a GRUB Breakfast Plate that costs $16. There is garlic focaccia bread with scrambled eggs, mushrooms and chicken cheese sausage along with a side salad. She says its nice and gave me a bit of her food. I thought it was not bad.

We also ordered drinks. I got a Lychee and Passionfruit Soda with Mint ($4.50) while she got a hot mocha ($5). If i am not wrong, she got a set so it comes with the hot drink.


What i love about GRUB is that the atmosphere is so gorgeous. Since it is located in the park, we were surrounded by trees, flowers and basically nice greenery. We then head to Suntec where the "Flea market" is held.